![]() I'd say give yourself a strong reality check and face the facts as they are. Like you said, you didn't give yourself enough time to grieve and scrambled to put him out of your mind too fast. If he wants to remain friends with you, he'll have to respect your boundaries and let you heal. It took a while but he realised that I was deeply hurt and he had to back off and give me my space. I only figured the 'being dead' aspect could help me in knowing that what happened with him was absolutely dead and gone.My ex wanted to be friends immediately after we broke up too and it wasn't something I could handle at that point. It wasn't until we started having tension-filled fights that it just became worse and I grew more and more angry. I didn't give myself enough time to grieve over it and just became the friend he had before. ![]() What hurt more was the fact that he wanted to be friends RIGHT AFTER IT HAPPENED. But in a way, it still hurts when I think about it. I know guys, I really need to just get over him and just accept that it's happened and it's done. I think you'd do yourself a big favor to finally bring it on the table, work through it properly and then get over it once and for all. No matter how much you loved this person and how much they hurt you, after so many years you should have been able to move on. However, I do know people who have told themselves lie and feel better for them, but their exes present reoccurring issues and it's for that reason that I would want to actually work on the problem, not just cover it up.I think Piper is right. If it were my SO who was doing it, I would be worried too and would probably encourage them to seek therapy (or whatever form worked for them) as a way of working through the situation versus letting it sit and fester underneath a story. If it were me, it's something I would seek counsel on and actually start working through versus lying to myself to make me feel better, because I feel like lying about it only puts a bandaid on the real issue. Seven years ago is a long time to hold on and he should not still be providing you with such an emotional charge simply because you've realised he's not dead in a ditch somewhere. I wouldn't, but I'd be concerned if I needed to go to that extreme of a measure to be over someone or what they did to me. My SO gets a bit worried at times, but I tell him that it's not bothering me as long as I use this kind of coping. Has anybody ever pretended their ex was dead to get over them? Trust me, I'm sane, but I just want to pretend that that part of my life with him involved never even existed. But if something does remind me that he's still alive, I get considerably upset or blank out. Weird coping mechanism for me, but it works since I haven't gone postal yet. It gets to the point where I actually believe it and I would almost tell people that he's dead. So I started to pretend that he died two years ago (from the day we stopped talking to each other). I'm just surprised that he can still kickstart a bout of rage I never knew I was capable of (trust me - no word can describe how much I hate that little piece of -, I hope he's miserable somewhere in a dirty hovel ). Had on and off friendships, but it was toxic so we just stopped speaking altogether. Long story short, had an LDR ex who dumped me without telling me firsthand over seven years ago (over Myspace).
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